Changing dreams
For as long as I can remember, there were two things that were certain in my life. First, I wanted to be a mom. It was most definitely the part of my life I can never imagine doing without. My boys are my pride and joy. I live and breathe for them. I knew that when the youngest grew up, I’d have my chance to pursue my other dream - to be a lawyer.
Well, I’d call phase 1 of my life a raging success. My boys are good people, they have good souls, they try hard to make good lives for themselves (and, in Adams case, for his family). They are each successful in their own way, and that is, in my mind, what counts.
Phase 2 has been tricky. When Jared was about 6 I went back to school. I started out following the Paralegal trail, excited with the idea that I would be able to work in the field as I pursued my career in law. Here I sit, at the ripe old age of 48 (which , fwiw, really isnt old!), seeing the possible light at the end of the tunnel. . . in 5 more years. However, the more I consider the idea of going to law school, the more I think I’m not going to continue down that path. Its not that I *dont want to*. Its more of the position it will put me in when I get there. Instead of being able to work and enjoy a job I love, I will be working and scrimping, and just getting by (due to the 6 digit student loans). Worrying about the future, and certainly not having enough time to enjoy my family and my life. I certainly wouldn’t be able to retire early or relax much. Sure the possiblity exists that I would get some smashing job at a firm that pays phenominally, but really? I’m more the type to work for a cause and not for a dollar. (One of the most attractive things about the firm I’m with now) And honestly, the chances of getting a job like that are about the same as any hotshot baseball playing kid making it to the pro’s. It can happen, but more often than not, it doesn’t.
Its now time for me to choose. If I’m going to law school, now is the time I have to start getting things lined up, entrance exams, essays, applications, etc. Thoughts of altering my dream are sneaking into my head. Its hard to let go of a dream that you have had for sooo many years and to settle for something just short of it. But in the columns of pro’s and con’s, the idea that I won’t have to work the rest of my life just to pay back the government for the pleasure of going to school is a pretty big ‘pro’. Being in my mid-50’s and knowing the road is still long ahead of me is not exactly the way I had hoped it would turn out. So that’s a ‘con’. If I accept ‘just being a paralegal’, I can look forward to time with family and friends, continuing to enjoy my job, and the satisfaction of having worked so hard to obtain my BS degree. Its a lot to consider.
The alternative is really nothing to sneeze at either. If I choose the alternate path, I would finish my BS in Legal Studies and take a certifying exam to become either a “Registered Paralegal” or a “Certified Legal Assistant”. . .(they are both the same thing, just depends on where you are and what test you take). The exam is 2 days, much like the bar exam for lawyers, and requires you to know a whole lot about the law. It also requires continuing education to maintain the Certification. The certification is the standard for the industry, letting [future] employers know that you have attained a certain level of knowledge. (Plus, I’d get to put letters behind my name, professionally :P either RP or CLA).
I have a feeling I’ve already made my choice. . . but I’m going to think it over for a few more days before I commit.